14 May 2014

T-Minus One Month

Whew! I cannot believe it is the middle of May. In one month exactly, we will be undertaking the Reyes Family Exodus and moving South of the border forever.

How am I feeling right now? Exhausted. Sad. Excited. Homesick. Frustrated. Nervous. I feel a big mixture of emotions all throughout the day. The summer months are starting here in Oregon, the weather has been beautiful, and I dream of splashing in the waterfalls and climbing through the old growth forests. But this year, that won't happen. I'm not going to climb Multnomah Falls. I'm not going to splash in the Sandy River and get sunburned.
hiking-columbia-river-gorge
Cecilia and I hiking in the Columbia River Gorge last summer

No, instead I'm going to be walking all over my beloved TJ. I'm going to be taking the stairs and climbing up the hills. I'm going to be shopping at sobreruedas and crossing back and forth between two countries on almost a daily basis. I'm going meet new people, learn to live a new, simpler life, and learn to live with my husband again and be a normal couple. My years of the back and forth are coming to a close. It makes me nervous.
tijuana-short-cut
Hiking down the "short cut" built into the hill out of tires by our old apartment in TJ last fall.
It's not the first time I've tried to start my life over. I've moved around a bit, but I always end up back at my parent's house. It's so amazing how my parents have dealt with me and put up with me for so long. They've done nothing but support me, even when they knew I was making mistakes. That's how super awesome my Mommy and Daddy are. I'm afraid to fail at life in TJ. I'm almost terrified that I'm going to be back in Oregon, having to face all of the "I told you so" and my failures. I don't want to fail in Mexico. I want to change who I am, simplify my life, and make it. I want to make something out of my life, out of my family, and not let the border beat me. I want to succeed at something.

But I am scared.

However, one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman said something:

2014 is about me and being brave. I can do this. I can get past the fears that have held me back from living my fullest life possible and move forward. This means an actual physical change of location. This means, an actual change of scenery, friendships, employment, and living situations. I've done this before, and I will probably do this again before my lifetime is over. If I don't fight for my family, who will? I'm terrified...but I'm doing it anyway.

6 comments:

  1. Good luck in your new adventure! It sounds like you are being very brave!!

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    1. Thank you! I need all of the encouragement and good thoughts/prayers/vibes!

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  2. I believe in you and once all your family is all together and trust in God. Everything will work in your favor.

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  3. Hi!! I saw Emily's post about your move. Good luck with your move! I was there 3 years ago. I have now been in Mexico for 3 years. We have moved a lot in 3 years, trying to find the right place here. We are now in Matamoros, and I cross the border almost daily. It is trying at times. At times, you will doubt yourself and your reasons for moving, but in the end you will be glad you did. Good luck, and I am now following your Blog.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I need all of the encouragement/examples I can get so I don't freak out! Thanks for the support!

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